I started this blog in response to the frustration I feel in things I start never getting finished. Things I’ve had ideas about or started, but never got around to completing. Nowhere is this laid bare more than my involvement with FoFiX.
For those who are unaware, Frets on Fire X (FoFiX) is the evolution of the open-source guitar hero-like rhythm game Frets on Fire. I used to be involved with it’s development. I’ve written code, built graphical themes, and was a prominent member of the fretsonfire.net forums, where I am still a forum moderator. I helped people with any issues, documented a large portions of theming capabilities, maintained a list of FoFiX themes and attempted to keep the peace. I was also prominent in a lot of development discussions, and presented ideas that helped shape some of the features of FoFiX itself. As those closest to me can attest, I practically lived on those forums.
But the real world started to catch up with me. I found I had less and less time for FoFiX, and one day I simply stopped visiting the forums. I just disappeared without a word, with the intention to come back when time permitted. I feel guilty about it. I’ve visited the forums a couple of times (generally I hide my online status out of guilt), and my theme list has gone completely stagnant. My themes need updating. Development on FoFiX appears to be slow, but exciting.
I want to go back. I feel like I have friends there. But there’s a guilt and fear holding me back. I feel guilty for leaving things unfinished, and I fear that a lack of adequate free time will have me not particularly active. And I may stop again. People come and go from the FoFiX forum all the time. I’m certainly not the first to fade out when Real Life catches up, and I probably won’t be the last. But I don’t want to be the guy who comes back every few months, makes promises, and then leaves again with a bunch of loose ends.
I need to find some extra time in my life somewhere to work on all my current loose ends. Figure out if/where/how I can still be useful in the community in a diminished (and easily abandoned, if necessary) capacity. If I am able to adequately tie up all those loose ends, perhaps I could go out with a bang and get some closure. Or maybe I always want to be involved in some way or another.
Either way, at the moment I miss FoFiX and I want a way back in…
