Gordon Pedersen
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57 lines
No EOL
6.5 KiB
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---
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title: B3.13 Procrastinations issues
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date: 2020-02-03
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summary: I barely managed to get this written at all...
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image: https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F99d43a60-5cac-4ef2-af6d-554af5f25853_500x400.jpeg
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location: /B3.13
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tags: Newsletter, self-reflection, procrastination, PKM, wavebox, browsers, burnout, mind
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---
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# Procrastinations issues
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*I barely managed to get this written at all...*
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I'm a natural born procrastinator. I can't help it - I just keep finding ways to avoid the work I know I have to do. This newsletter is an obvious example. I somehow made sure never to commit myself to a schedule, and now that I've hit the date for sending out my third issue, I haven't even written so much as a draft. So keep in mind - I haven't even proofread this one properly.
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It's an issue that is seeping into all aspects of my life, and it comes and goes in cycles. A month ago I was motivated to build and stick to a weekly plan. I was going to collect articles I read so I could reference them in this newsletter. I was going to do a bunch of writing for DevReady, and post links to that in this newsletter as a way to get more content going.
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My weekly plan lasted about a fortnight, I haven't retained much of what I've read for it to be worth posting and I've done exactly zero writing for DevReady.
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The thing is, I know what needs to be done - it's now about finding the motivation to do it. And I know enough to know that "finding motivation" is a myth. An excuse to further put off the work. What I really need to do is dig in and figure out what it is that is holding me back. Figure out _why_ I "lack motivation" and how I can break down those barriers to get back to work.
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Last week I mentioned the concept of the sculpture/sculptor, and I'm reminded of a direct quote from the r!Animorphs fic I referenced which kinda sums up how I'm feeling at the moment:
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> I don’t know. I didn’t have a conclusion. I didn’t even really have a _question_.
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>
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> But it seemed like something I really ought to think about.
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# Stuff I've found interesting recently:
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## [Dan Silvestre](https://medium.com/@dsilvestre?source=post_page-----76b54838a877----------------------) - [Digital Minimalism: How to Simplify Your Online Life](https://medium.com/swlh/digital-minimalism-how-to-simplify-your-online-life-76b54838a877)
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This is a list of things you can do to "clean up" your digital life. Some of the things suggested here I've already done, but it feels like it's time for another purge of a whole bunch of digital noise in my life that I really don't need... Apps I've downloaded and don't use, files I'm hoarding in my Downloads folder, bringing back some semblance of a schedule that makes sense.
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For example, I've started using [Wavebox](https://wavebox.io/) as a browser for work. I've been using it for ages as a home for my digital apps (email, Slack, Jira, etc) and now that it's built on Chromium and has proper tab support and a neat profile system, it's basically become my default browser at work. The one thing it seems to be crucially missing is saving my open tabs for when I next start my browser
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But I'm coming to see that as a _good_ thing. It means I don't keep a bunch of stuff open because I know it will disappear, and at the end of my day I _have to_ sort out what any open tabs mean to me and set up reminders or whatever for later, leaving me with a clean slate each morning.
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## [Phil Haack](https://haacked.com/about/) - [Recovering from Burnout](https://haacked.com/archive/2020/01/23/burnout/)
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This is a good article from a man formerly in denial about his own burnout, and his plan to turn it around. He doesn't really offer a lot in the way of actionable advice - he admits he's in a privileged position where he can afford to just take time out and have a break, which not everyone can do (myself included).
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But it's pushed me into facing some thoughts I've been having about how I might be burnt out, and encouraging me to find a way to address it. I'm not there yet, and the digital noise purge I mentioned earlier may be a baby step towards getting the space I need. I'm not sure that a break will help at this stage anyway, it's more about getting the load under control to move forward.
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## [InsideMyMind](https://ryanandrewlangdon.wordpress.com/author/rlangdon9/) - [Today I Learned That Not Everyone Has An Internal Monologue And It Has Ruined My Day.](https://ryanandrewlangdon.wordpress.com/2020/01/28/today-i-learned-that-not-everyone-has-an-internal-monologue-and-it-has-ruined-my-day/)
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Okay, so this blew my mind too, but after the initial reaction, I think I've learned to be more careful with this information.
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So, it turns out that some people run with a constant internal monologue, and some do not. I have a "voice" in my head, thinking in words (and sometimes just abstract concepts, but mostly words). This voice is me - it is the thing that is piloting my body, voicing my words, etc.
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I'd just assumed up until this point that this was the default mode of operation for people in general. Popular fiction seems to support this. Most fiction from a point-of-view will have characters thinking in sentences, characters in movies will have echo-y representations of their voice reflecting their thoughts, etc. But this is not necessarily experienced by everyone.
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It's come to help me make sense of the personalities of some others. How they seem to just say whatever is on their mind, or their need to talk out problems with others out loud. To some degree or another we all need these things, but some of us can act this out internally, while for others it's much more difficult.
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Do you constantly think to yourself in words? Do you play conversations in your head before committing to the words out loud? Or is this whole concept completely alien to you and now you are discovering that other people in your life live with little voices in their heads and now _your_ day is ruined?
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The biggest takeaway here is that everyone's mind works differently. There's probably no one out there who thinks exactly the way you do. |